From: The Dog?? Dear God:?? Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God:?? When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God:?? Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the ustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? Dear God:?? If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Bad Dog? Dear God: Dogs can understand:??
- Human verbal instructions???
- Hand signals?????
- Whistles, horns, clickers and beepers???
- Scent IDs???
- Electromagnetic energy fields, and
- Frisbee flight paths.??
What do humans understand? Dear God:?? More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God:?? Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God:?? Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a Good Dog.??
- I will not eat the cat's food before she eats it or after he throws it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, poop, etc., just because I like the smell.??
- The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
- I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
- I will not come indoors from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
- The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S.?? Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back???