Monthly Archives: December, 2010

A Non-Offensive Holiday Greeting

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it’s difficult in today’s politically correct world to know exactly what to say without offending someone, somewhere. 

Now, those who know me will understand that giving offense is abhorrent  to me. With that in mind, I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice, I wish to say the following:  



Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. 

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the world great and without regard to the species, race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith (if any) or sexual preference of the Wishee

By accepting this greeting, you agree to the following Terms & Conditions: 

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal at any time. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise or obligation by the Wisher to the Wishee to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wisher. 

Best Regards (without prejudice) 

Name withheld (Privacy Act)

(courtesy of Nick Dale)




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