Suffering from Electile Dysfunction?

Electile_dysfunction

You’ve reached the age when you think you’ve learned a thing or two. This is the age of pretending to know what needs to be done. So why would you let a thing like Electile Dysfunction get in your way? 

Isn’t it time you talked to Karl Rove about “LIe-Aggra” (Lie-Aggravate®)? 20 zillion wanna-be candidates already have. 

With every campaign comes responsibility: ask your Campaign Manager if your heart is big and strong enough for being President of 300 million Americans, many poor and struggling. Do not take Lie-Aggra if you already take unlimited PAC money for campaign contributions, as this may cause an unsavory drop in perceived moral standing. 

Side effects of Lie-Aggra may include back-pedaling, hypocrisy, upset voters and an abnormal lack of clear Vision. To avoid long-term injury to your place in history, seek a consultant’s help for a Presidentlal election bid lasting longer than a decade. Stop taking Lie-Aggra and call the Senate Minority Leader right away if you experience a sudden decrease in or loss of policy consistency or moral clarity. 

This is the age of exploiting factions. Talk to your campaign contributors and see if ultra-conservative America’s most self-righteous and nasty political platform is right for you. 

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Angela Merkel Visits Paris for Talks

German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris.

“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.

“German,” she replies.

“Occupation?”

“No, just here for a few days.” 

A Poem to Introduce Birthday Books

For my daughter's recent birthday, I chose a variety of books, from a Harlan Coben thriller to an overview of 20th Century philosophy, to a compendium of the 500 greatest films ever made.??

The poem that accompanied this literary (and not so literary) collection went as follows:??

"A thriller by Coben,

A John Updike Coven;

Deep thinkers by Russell,

Great films by the bushel,

A novel applauded

And Pulitzer-lauded:

This book potpourri

Was picked carefully

As a gift for my daughter

To balance Harry Potter!"??

Orwell’s “1984”in the Age of Social Media

Had George Orwell written “1984” today, might his bleak world of the future, where the only free expression of  thought was internal, have been turned into something less sinister and despairing? From that alternate version, I give you the final brief meeting of Winston Smith and Julia (Part III, Chapter 6)???.

“They sat down on two iron chairs, side by side but not too close together. He saw that she was about to speak. She moved her clumsy shoe a few centimetres and deliberately crushed a twig. Her feet seemed to have grown broader, he noticed. 

‘I unfollowed you,’ she said baldly. 

‘I unfollowed you,’ he said.” 

No Deal

 

And when I died, the devil came and said,

“Now here’s the deal: I’ll give you your old life

all over once again, no strings attached.

Like an actor in a play, of course, you’ll have

to follow the same script that you rehearsed

the first time through—you cannot change a glance,

a word, a gesture; but think of taking your first

steps again, and having your first romance

repeat itself, your love back from the dead,

beautiful and new and seventeen.

What matter if you see the future coming—

The cloven hoof of sorrow, loss’s horn—

her dreamy eye, her nodding head?”

Get thee behind me, Satan, I should have said.

 

No Deal by Ronald Wallace, from Long for this World: New and Selected Poems. © The University of Pittsburgh Press, 2003. 

My Last Duchess

My Last Duchess by Robert Browning

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Back in the day when divorce was not something done by gentlemen — let alone noblemen.… 

Health questions from the doctor

From a friend??? ??

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and thorough lab tests, he said I was doing ???fairly well??? for my age (I recently turned 59.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, ???Do you think I'll live to be 80????

My doctor asked me, ???Do you smoke??????

???No??? I answered.??

He asked, ???Do you drink beer, wine or hard liquor????

???Oh no,??? I replied.?? ???And I don???t do drugs, either!???

Next, he asked, ???Do you eat rich meats like rib-eye steaks, or barbecued ribs????

I said, ???Not often; my former doctor told me red meat is not very healthy.???

???Do you spend a lot of time getting sun exposure ??? for example, while playing??golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling????

???No, I don???t,??? I said.

The doctor then asked, ???Do you gamble, or drive fast cars????

???No,??? I said.

???Have lots of sexual activity????

???Umm, no??????

My doctor looked at me and said, ???Then why do you even give a shit??????

A Milestone ??? The Kid Drives for the First Time

I don't usually post family stuff, but this one is a special moment: my daughter's first time behind the wheel of a car by herself (at her grandfather's house in L.A.). Yikes!??

(Crappy cellphone video, sorry ??? not my phone!)

Well, I Have Lost You

File under “I wish I were talented enough to have written this”… 

Well, I Have Lost You 
 
Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly;
In my own way, and with my full consent.
Say what you will, kings in a tumbrel rarely
Went to their deaths more proud than this one went. 
Some nights of apprehension and hot weeping
I will confess; but that’s permitted me;
Day dried my eyes; I was not one for keeping
Rubbed in a cage a wing that would be free. 
If I had loved you less or played you slyly
I might have held you for a summer more,
But at the cost of words I value highly,
And no such summer as the one before. 
Should I outlive this anguish, and men do,
I shall have only good to say of you.

Edna_st_vincent_millay
– Edna St. Vincent Millay 

The 20th Century’s Most Gorgeous Women ??? Part 2

My next choice for one of the 20th century’s Most Beautiful Women: Hedy Lamarr, the glamorous Austrian-born film star of the 1930s, 40s and 1950s, now largely forgotten (except perhaps by Mel Brooks). But an absolutely gorgeous stunner. To quote from her biography on Independent Movie Database (imdb.com), she was “the woman many critics and fans alike regard as the most beautiful ever to appear in films.…” 

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“Meet me in the Casbah.…” 

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And a selection of some more beauty shots.… 

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